SIRENS

A film about ... the complicated relationship between women

Ideas come to me as seeds. The initial seed for Sirens came from a series of images in a Deborah Turbeville book that I ordered last spring.

The dreamlike atmosphere and tension between the women in the images spoke to me. Report Magazine asked me to make a film for their Issue 6, they mentioned the theme was IDYLL. I connected the dots back to the Turbeville images and the feelings I get from the word idyll. My safe space is an idyllic fantasy, often a garden somewhere in the Mediterranean near water where I can write in peace. I was deciding on a location between Italy and upstate NY. In my heart I knew it had to be Italy because when I think idyllic, I think Italy in the summer.

The pre-production process was intimidating. I was paralyzed until my casting director sent me multiple messages to confirm a stylist. Multiple messages. Finding the perfect location to evoke emotion, casting 4 roles and securing a full team in the south of Italy at the end of summer was completely daunting.

Once a seed is planted I can’t think of anything else, I see the path beginning to form and commit. I didn’t know how the film would be completed but I knew it had to happen.

Myself, I have had complicated relationships and beautiful relationships with women my whole life. This theme is central to my work, alongside an underlying sense of being a broken doll, something which is probably a byproduct of personal relationships.

I find the tension and mystery in female dynamics fascinating. You can’t escape women and I am always studying them. I hold them in the utmost respect and fear them at the same time. In my late thirties, I am only now beginning to understand my own power as a woman and, in many ways, to fully recognize myself as one.

I am on a search for a coven, a safety net of women, generally people in a larger sense but there is a particular safety and understanding between women that I crave. I grew up to rely on having many strong female presences in my formative years. I believe these needs are deeply human, ancient, even and rooted in a desire for protection. Yet we are moving away from the collective, increasingly seeking validation and connection online. In doing so, we often become too busy to reconcile with the messier, more complex parts of the people we love.

After sharing the Turbeville book with my partner and offering a vague outline of my concept, he suggested we watch the 90s film Sirens. This movie is a classic and I’m not sure how I missed it growing up! It is a charming, old romantic comedy that celebrates a group of artists’ muses who live fully and presently in their femininity, embracing leisure and self-expression. Meanwhile, an outsider woman visiting with holy husband observes from the sidelines, hoping to join their circle while grappling with her own insecurities triggered by their dynamic. Class good girl vs bad girls but maybe the bad girls are fun girls. This is my whole life in a nutshell. I just want to be in the goddess circle while I am always on the sidelines making up reasons I can’t.

I was having some trouble writing the script, it was the most intimidating part of the process for me. It required me to be vulnerable and share hidden parts of myself. I decided to take a notebook to the beach because that’s where I feel the most aligned near water. I had in mind to try a free-flow writing exercise to capture my subconscious thoughts. I was thinking there has to be something in there. Suddenly an image of two women holding hands popped into my head and then it started raining lightly. The rain quickly passed but left the sand damp and moody. Most everyone at the beach packed up to go but I had to wait for the bus so I stayed on the empty beach and began to write.

A reflection on coming to terms with aging, facing the uncomfortable feelings I have toward women in their twenties who are just beginning their lives, while also sitting with my own regrets, particularly around choosing career over family and the impact of my past decisions began to emerge.

At the same time, I found myself noticing the opportunities younger women have to express their individuality, sensuality, and sense of self more freely than I ever could at their age. This contrast brought me to an empowering realization that I too am coming into my own power and deeper understanding of myself as I enter the middle of my life. That also feels liberating and beautiful.

From this, I imagined the structure of the piece as a weaving of group dialogues that then transition into individual characters and their unique experiences outside of the group. I saw 4 women and they essentially split into 4 sides of my personality and experiences talking it out, essentially an internal dialogue brought out.

Obviously the Virgin Suicides was an influence here. It’s always and forever an inspiration. There are too few stories about the experience of young women and women in general. True experiences of women, honest reflections of self is what I am interested in, not what I was lead to believe to be true and spent years unlearning.

For my film, I wanted to create a story that nods to Turbeville but feels distinctly modern. The Virgin Suicides is experiencing a moment of renewed interest and I find that Corrine Day’s new book of on-set images beautifully complements the aesthetic ideas of Turbeville. I like how Turbeville feels more mature but I also appreciate the spontaneity of Day. This film is only a sliver of what I really have to say. I would love the financial freedom and time to explore more.

This is already very long so I will stop here. I love hearing about artist process and thought it could be fun to share some ideas here alongside the release of my film. I’ve included some of my other inspiration for you as reference and background into the film. Hope you enjoy! Also the film is meant to open conversations, I would love to hear your thoughts, what resonates and doesn’t and why.

The full film is available for viewing on Report’s website. Thank you for watching if you choose to do so. It’s meant to be viewed in a larger format, it’s challenging to meet the need of social media and tell a proper story. Thank you! Nicole

https://www.reportmagazine.net/